As I was leaving the store, I glanced at the confirmation letter and it said “Transmission incomplete.”  I turned back and said, “This didn’t go through PLEASE try to get it through!”  As he was trying over and over again to dispatch it, I began to cry, all my husband had wanted from me was to get this simple message to his old friend, “I need your dua’s” (Dr. Ahmed was ill, and his duah’s were very special to my husband).  I looked to my left at a couple who seemed to be giggling at me, the woman kissing the fingers of the man, whispering in his ear and smiling at me.  I knew they were agents from who knows which of the eight countries the newspapers had said were involved in the investigation.
 
I finally let go and said to myself that if Allah doesn’t want it to go, it will not go, and if Allah wants it to go, they cannot stop it.  I went back to the table and called my father to see if his press release was accepted, the same message I sent to Dr. Ahmed. “My daughter has not and will not speak to the media.  If you want to know about her, go and ask her husband!”, and he had just told me it had when the attendant came across the room smiling and told me the fax was transmitted.  I guess after they read it, they decided it wasn't dangerous enough to intercept any longer, ugh!
 
I was then followed by several cars, one black government car with the license plate drilled to the grill, and two or three small cars with a pair of army guys in each one.  The ‘army dinks’ even followed me into a grocery store, just to let me know they were within arm’s reach. (civilian clothes, but shaved heads).  They parked the nose of their car straight in front of the nose of my car and exited their car when I exited mine.  Then they got back into their car when I got back into mine.  Another two army guys followed me around the store.  I guess they were warning me not to ‘pass messages to terrorists’ or some stupid thing.

For days it seemed cars purposely tried to cause me to have an accident.  Were they trying to prevent me from strengthening my husband at the prison?  Another wife had quite a scare when the family car her mother was driving with her brother and her baby inside suddenly wouldn’t stop at a red light, the brakes failed.  It took her two blocks to stop the car.  How could a wife strengthen her husband if she were dead, in hospital or in mourning?

For a week I shuddered and shook and jumped at every sudden noise.  I dry heaved constantly, worse when I tried to do something toward helping my husband.  I just kept going, heaving and moaning through normal activities and conversations.  What else could I do?  I just learned to ignore it, mostly.  When I would lay down to sleep, I would really notice the shaking and shuddering.  I couldn’t sleep more than 2 hours a night for over a week.  Couldn’t eat more than a couple bites per meal.

I called the same wife one evening to find out what was wrong.  Someone said they were worried about her.  I asked her if she was eating, she said she finally was.  I asked her if she had a headache. She said she didn’t. I asked her if she was nauseous.  She said she wasn’t.  I asked her how much sleep she had, and she said not much.  I asked her how many hours she had in the last 3 days.  She said “I don’t know, maybe about BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!  I said “What?  I couldn’t hear you.”  She repeated, “About BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!  So I screamed at the phone, cussing the agents who were electrically interfering, and said, ‘OK, let’s see how many times they are gonna screw with us until I find out how much sleep you’ve had!”.  After one or two more interferences I managed to kind of hear the beginning or an ending to what she said, and asked her, “Did you say you’ve had 5 hours sleep in the past 3 days?!”  She said “Yes.”  I said to her, “GO TO SLEEP BEFORE YOU GO INSANE!!!”

JUS: How are your children coping with this terror and what is their condition now? What is the condition of your Mother-in-law?

Sister Cheryfa: Alhamdulillah, they are better now.  In the beginning my oldest boy at home, Tayyab, he’s 7, used to continuously ask me “Mommy, are they gonna come back with their guns and scream at us again?  Are they going to put handcuffs on us?”  My 5 yr. old Tashfeen suffered headaches for several days.  None of us could eat for about a week.  My mother in law and I only got about two to three hours sleep a night, from prayers and duah and from inability to settle down enough to rest our brains.  It took a couple of weeks for the shaking and muscle twitching to stop.  Still today, as I begin to wake up, my whole body begins to shake inside, until I fully become conscious of my surroundings. It wasn’t the raid so much that set me to trembling and dry heaving, but the thought that any one of the security agencies involved in this investigation could easily kill me or kidnap my child to break my husband into signing a false confession or statement against the other brothers.  I am the only source of comfort to him, besides his Qur’an and Allah Subhana wa Ta’ala, and if I am dead or a puddle of muck, then what condition would he remain in? 

My mother in law is much better also.  She was so distraught at first that she continuously begged us to send her back to Pakistan.  My husband and his brothers have talked with her and assured her she is safe here and that when he comes home, they will arrange for her passage, Insha’Allah.  She is beginning to visit ladies in the neighborhood for emotional support, whereas before she rarely left the house.

JUS: What is the current state of Abdul’s legal proceedings?  Do you have representation and how are you proceeding?

Sister Cheryfa: His lawyer is Anser Farooq.  Masha’Allah, he is very busy with organizing all of the lawyers for the other brothers who didn’t have counsel, but now, Alhamdulillah, only one remains without his own representation.  He is asking for a bail hearing in the near future, the courts continue to be put over because there is still no disclosures for the men.  Insha’Allah, by the end of August we should hear a decision regarding bail.  My husband chose this lawyer and trusts him.  I haven’t any legal knowledge at all, and so am only following what his lawyer suggests, relying on his expertise, dedication, and Allah’s plan.

JUS: We now know that this was not just a sting operation but a sting by a fellow Muslim who offered his services for reasons known only to himself and Allah to CSIS for profit.  Your husband was obviously in contact with Mubin Shaikh prior to his arrest.  Can you tell me about you about the nature of this relationship?

Sister Cheryfa: I have never met this man myself.  I had asked my husband a couple of times to invite him and his wife to our home, as I was excited to meet her.  I had seen her on the news taking on the feminists fighting over the Shariah court in Canada, and Nada Farooq (wife of Zakaria Amara) told me she was similar to me in personality.  I knew she was a convert like myself, so I really wanted to befriend her, but my husband told me he didn’t have a good feeling about him.  He never explained it, just said he didn’t trust him, (he doesn’t talk much about people; he hates backbiting), so after the second time I just left the matter.

JUS: Did your husband, as far as you know, being his wife and sharing your life with him, ever consider any actions against the Canadian government or plan any type of attack of any kind against Canadians? Is there any element of truth in these allegations or are the charges against him purely fabrication?

Sister Cheryfa: Ha Ha, well I wouldn’t want to violate any Canadian laws or jeopardize my husband’s case by declaring him innocent of the charges, so I won’t actually declare him innocent of all the charges, because to declare him innocent of all the charges might imply that I know something about something I know nothing about, therefore implementing myself in a web of conspiracy against my husband, (a conspiracy which sounds a little familiar, a little too Hollywood, a little … no wait, isn’t this the plot of the Munich Olympic kidnappings?) who just might be innocent of all the charges, therefore, though I’d like to declare him innocent of all the charges, I will instead differ the question with a question of my own; don’t you think it would be incredibly stupid of him to plan such a horrendous act that might jeopardize his akhirah by the death of innocent people, and in the meantime not even send his wife and children to Pakistan to prevent the government from arresting her as an accessory and prevent Children’s Aid from taking the children away due to endangerment or teaching them Jihad or some such stupid charges?  The two youngest babies and I don’t even own passports. 

JUS: From your perspective, do you have any idea what motivated Mubin Shaikh to carry out the actions he did against your husband and the other brothers?

Sister Cheryfa: Like I said in an earlier question, I don’t know this man, only what I have seen him say on a television interview on CBC.  I did notice the pride in his face when the interviewer praised him for his martial arts prowess and his intelligence, though.  This man has lined his pockets with our persecution and suffering, and yet he remains so proud and sure of himself. Only Allah knows what is in his heart.  I only hope he had lots of good deeds and a hajj or two because the brothers could sure use them.